Was trying to imitate after the age old saying ‘Comedy of errors’, as that aptly describes perhaps one of the most understated business opportunities in my homeland – marriage.
Not trying to make a joke of the institution of marriage, though the bigger question would be do I need to make any ?!?
Planning to explore the various aspects, one at a time, as this gives a very good insight into our current society and its intrinsic values. If to be proud of it – An open question better left to individual perceptions.
Starting with the marriage portals – well these are great forums to meet the prospective matches – a perfect stepping stone for the arranged way of marriage which still rules the majority of the society, and with a closer look into them – you may start to realise the ‘comedy’ hiding behind the serious affair.
Don’t know why, the very initial look onto the system, makes me feel like am putting myself onto a market place, and commoditising myself, just like one will be doing on ebay or amazon.com to sell or buy – put on your best tags and specify your likings – and thus you get your customised offers ( matches ).
It is like the IIT JEE screening exam, where based on certain parameters one is screened off without even making an attempt of understanding how the person is, and I keep wondering where is the human element here ? I mean are we marrying degrees and jobs here – or human being with whom we are supposed to spend the rest of our lives.
Do agree that stable job, good qualification, decent family background are necessary prerequisites but somehow the human touch is missing – there is minimal attempt to understand the human being behind the profile. The whole process seems like a project workflow being sketched unto the dashboard with the target of buying or selling profiles.
Some of the profiles and their inherent undertones surprise me even more –
“Picture visible on accept” – Now, respectfully saluting the privacy concern of many here – but how is one supposed to accept a generic profile without knowing how the prospective person of the other gender ( If all he or she is ! ) looks in reality – after all we are not planning to spend life with a virtual profile !! Or may be the human does not matter here much…
“Liberal family with modern outlook .. we are in search of a son / daughter” .. this read make one feel a little more assuring .. but wait !! what’s this ” horoscope match mandatory “.. and now – someone explain me how these two match up… I really wish to understand what these hypocrites mean by being liberal – may be a customised definition of the actual meaning to project oneself into the society as a modern broad minded family – good try and keep up the pretension !
“someone who will pamper our daughter like we did, take her for shopping, tour her the world..” .. my my !! Do we need a travel agent here ? Doesn’t this thought have a strange undertone blabbering desperately – searching for a rich idiot with loads of money to show-off !
You might be thinking that I am either a sadist or utterly frustrated with my own search – well – honestly I am bewildered at the very structure of this – my parents have joined this bandwagon very recently and the initial shock for me have been the driver for jotting down these thoughts…
I do still have believe in arranged marriage, though to much lesser extent than love marriage – but when you don’t have the option of being loved for him / her to invest for the whole life – this offer a much tried ‘n’ tested version of adopting the institution of marriage – only the execution, isn’t it too materialistic ? Doesn’t it look like a profit ‘n’ loss statement ?
Marriage is a awesome thing that can happen to you – try to enjoy it and welcome your partner with a open heart – not being judgemental and not having self-made un-verified notions – makes it easier – speak up , talk more, share your feelings, devote time – be blessed !
Hope I and many others sharing my feeling survive and have a wonderful life to look ahead to !!!
Cheers
– AM
Anupam writes... 